Soon: Mad Men related stuff

Okay, I'm not gonna lie... I have no inspiration to write something whatsoever, But don't worry because next time I promise to you that I'm gonna make something special for this month of October. And if you already guessed I'ts something related to Mad Men.

So, for now... watch this trailer and see you next time folks:

I just watched the AVGN movie… and I liked it… well… sort of… I mean…

*Warning: Explicit Language

Okay, first of all, If you don’t have any idea who is the Angry Video Game Nerd, you should avoid Reading this because if you don’t you won’t probably get it. But if you want to read it anyway let me give you a brief summary:

But first: here's the trailer of the movie:

The Angry Video Game Nerd is an Internet comedy-review show starring James Rolfe. It’s about a thirty-something guy who spends most of his time playing videogames of the 80’s and 90’s (a retro-reviewer if you prefer) and makes fun of the games pointing out his flaws such as bad programming, dreadful graphics, horrible controls, unfairly challenging levels and overall concepts who makes him mad to the point of swearing like a sailor.

It’s pretty juvenile (features a lot of toilet humor, cursing and violence) but the guy it’s so fun to listen and watch in his performance that you forget (and even forgive) all that. It’s similar to what happen to South Park, people find the comedy lowbrow and childish, but also features a lot of substance in their scripts you don’t mind everything else.

And if you read my other posts you’ve already familiarized with the Nostalgia Critic, who is kind of like the nemesis of the Nerd, but only in a fictional way because in real life Doug and James are very good friends. Both are very respected and influential retro-reviewers (or at least they were) in the mid 2000’s and even if it seems the end of the road for both of them in terms of fame and quality (the last bit it’s more applicable for Doug) they still managed to make people laugh and leave their marks on internet history.

But enough exposition and lets jump into the topic for today: The Angry Video Game Nerd Movie. That’s right, this guy made a movie about his internet review show and it’s a real movie, not just an amateur experiment made by some random college students, it’s an actual movie.

It took around three years to been made and it was financed with fan-donations, proving that the internet It’s the ultimate entrepreneur producer and let anyone with a visionary plan of business accomplished those dreams. But we’re not here to praise capitalism and globalization like a bunch of geeks; we’re here to talk about if those dreams actually pay off nicely. So let’s take a look.

Good or not you got to give them credit for trying to give this low budget-independent film a professional look... I mean, the poster man THE POSTER 

The film stars with some exposition about the infamous ET: the videogame (named Eee Tee in the movie) for the ATARI 2600. Then we cut to a company called “Cockburn Industries” (I know, really mature), one of the executives, called Mandi (played by Sarah Glendening) suggest to release an intentionally bad sequel of the game to gain some profit due the cult following that the game has.

Meanwhile, our main Character the Angry Video Game Nerd (played by Rolfe) feels disenchanted with his life due the fact that he works on a game store called GameCops promoting crappy games and feeling that all the anger for make his review show was for nothing because his fans actually play those games that he was trying to prevent instead of avoid them (Streisand Effect anyone?)

But when he learns about the Cockburn Industries plan of releasing a sequel of ET, which happens to be the most requested game of his fans, he enters on denial and try to avoid reviewing it because it was “physically hurtful experience” play it as a kid (and yet he can play Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde on the NES), he wants to stay away from the phenomenon as far as possible.

The assistant, manager and personal friend of the Nerd, Cooper Folly (played by Jeremy Suarez) encourages him to take the request and tries to convince him that is a golden opportunity and also because he has a reputation to keep, but the Nerd doesn’t care about that and just want to avoid the idea.

However, after reflecting a little bit about it, he decides to take a chance and make the review. But not only that, he also wants to find the 1 million copies of the game that, according to the myth, are buried in the dessert of Alamogordo New Mexico, near from the Area 51. The Nerd tells Cooper that if they actually find the copies, he is going to play every copy because… he’s the FUCKING Nerd, that’s why.

Mandi, who knows the Nerd for his internet fame, approach to meet him and offer he and Cooper a deal of promoting the sequel of ET for financial help to accomplish the mission.

Now in the dessert our heroes are threatened by the militaries of the Area 51, who apparently protect the ground where the copies are buried. The general Dark Onward (played by Stephen Mendel) and the female Sergeant McButter (played by Helena Barrett) capture them under the belief that they’re terrorists trying to make contact with aliens, but the Nerd and his friends manage to escape and the general blow up his arm trying to throw a grenade.

On the road, the trio decides to look up for the creator and designer of the game itself Howard Scott Warshaw. Luckily for them, a worker from the Area 51, Dr. Zandor (played by Time Winters) worked with Howard in the design of the game and, coincidentally, lived in an abandoned house in New Mexico.

Even if he tried to kill them first for trespass his property, he not only let them enter to his house (after testing them with a video game challenge IRL) but also he told them the secret behind ET the game.

It turns out that the Dr. Zandor gave Howard a map to make a replica of the Area 51 and disguise it as a horrible game in order to not only help him to complete the time deadline (Atari gave him only 5 weeks to complete it), but also to get revenge on the military for capturing and locking up an alien with his spaceship that the Dr. tried to free.

Mandi, who happens to be a double agent for Cockburn industries sneaks out of the house to try to get a phone call from her boss and it’s captured by McButter, but she fools them and leading them to Las Vegas in order to keep them away from the Nerd and Cooper while they’re facing a long crowd of fans that wanted to promote the new ET game and also want to see their hero playing the infamous Atari game.

The things got worse when the Nerd tried to convince his fans that they’re no copies buried under the dessert but Howard Scott Marshaw himself appears and prove him wrong.

The Nerd finally decides to go to Area 51 disguised as an Alien in order to sneak in and find the alien (not a very good idea if you think about it) and gets captured by Onward and he forces him to play ET as a form of torture. Oh, and also launch a missile to the Mount Fuji in Japan that wake up a robot-like creature that goes to America and destroy all the places where our main characters are. Well, there are coincidences and then there’s… this movie.

Beautiful isn't it? and no... it's not a coincidence that it looks pretty similar to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles puppets... the guy who played Michelangelo in the saga from the 90's play this character.

But Cooper, who is hiding in the wagon of Cockburn Industries, releases the Alien captured in the Area 51 by playing the game (yea, I don’t know how that works either) and when the General leaves the room (mutilating his remaining arm with the automatic doors), the Aliens comes out and free the Nerd.

Then, both escape from the base and after a really cheesy but kind of amusing fight with robots, the Nerd and the alien steal a plane from the government and fly out of the place.

The general learns that the metal from the alien’s spaceship was replaced with tin foil by the Dr. Zandor, who hide the rests in the copies of the ET game (how the flying fuck did not analyze it and check it out if it was real in all those years?)

Meanwhile, the Nerd, after recreate one of his most famous routines (trying to land the plane like in the game Top Gun) both him and the Alien got into the Area 51.

Mandi, who was captured by McButter in the Eiffel Tower in Las Vegas manage to confront and defeats the Sergeant in a catfight (who, unfortunately and for comedic effect has too little screen time) until the Robot (called Death Mwauthzyx) and captures her along with Cooper and takes them to Area 51 where the general gets killed when he tried to confront the monster.

The Alien finally is able to rebuild his spaceship with every cartridge of the ET game (including the ones who are spread through the entire planet who led to several cameos), and manage to confront the robot alien and defeat him shooting a laser on the satellite on the top of his head, which it makes him to disappear him instead of something cool like an explosion or something (it is just me or did I sound like Michael Bay with that last sentence?)

And finally after defeat all the bad guys and stuff the Nerd finally take the request and review both ET games while the credits rolling.

And that was the Angry Video Game Nerd. It is a great movie? Mmmm not really, it has some flaws in the script and some jokes fall flat because they lack of good pay off, like they got good set ups but the punch lines weren’t strong enough. And also some of the acting wasn’t very convincing either, particularly Mandi and Cooper who weren’t very memorable in their roles.

Now the good stuff: the story is really creative and very complex with the whole ET conspiracy, yes it could it been better if some of the inconsistencies were worked a little bit more but, for what it is, is a pretty decent plot. And also liked the fact that the Nerd and Mandy weren’t get together at the end of the film, even when the trailers fool us to believe that in the first place, so that was a clever move.

Overall, it’s an okay film. If you’re a fan of The Angry Video Game Nerd like, you’re probably goingo to find yourself entertained with the jokes and the story, but if you’re an outsider know absolutely nothing about James and his foul mouthed character better skip it because it’s not for all tastes, just see the trailer and you’re going to figured out why.

And that’s all for now, see you later and remember: Shitty games can teach us more than we actually give them credit for. Don’t believe me? Ask to James Rolfe.

So AAAAAAASS-Ta la vista Baby.

Some thoughts about the Nostalgia Critic

*Warning: this is only for people who know who is The Nostalgia Critic, If you don’t know who he is, the avoid reading this.

Oh, Doug, I remembered the first time I saw you on YouTube like it if was yesterday. You used to be one of the funniest mother*ckers I have seen in years. Your timing (Casper: TIMING!), your deliverance, your jokes, even If they were 50/50 sometimes you’ve still had that zany personality that made everything forgivable.

And now, you became a sellout, a guy who just does what other people told you. I mean, Nostalgia Critic was a character created with the one, single purpose of making fun of the Nostalgia, and honestly, that’s the thing that I loved the most, because It seemed (and still seems) that every time people talk about their childhood memories, they can’t also spew some crap out their mouth and say that everything from the past is better and there’s no future.

The dream of every outrage trash takling fanboy like me... at least when I was younger...

Doug Walker, the man behind the Nostalgia Critic, for a long time (almost 4 years) used to be my personal Jesus, my sacred holy grail of comedy and my inspiration to make people laugh instead of depressed them with my awful and pessimistic vision of the world. I still believe that mankind it’s a big pile of sh*t, but at least I can laugh about it, I can see the world from a different point of view and stop talking crap 90% of the time thanks to that.

But why Doug became so fascinating to me in the first place? Because he was just a man, a guy a camera who just got himself against the world expressing his opinion and just doing what he thought it was funny, and manage to create a whole new brand of internet reviewers that use their skills not only to gain their 5 minutes of fame, but to inspire people to look at things with a whole new vision, stop letting their Nostalgia get in the way.

But when he decided to quit, I was devastated, I felt like one of the few things in this world that meant so much to me disappeared and now I’ve got no direction whatsoever. Everything fall apart that 2012, the same year I went to Law School (fortunately I quit) and the NC, that was my only vacation during that time was gone and from that moment it went just me and reality.

After contemplate suicide several times and leave the Law School, I decide to go on, forget TGWTG (because honestly, I’ve never give too much of a damn for the other ones) and try to live my life, until he came back.

In retrospective, I’ve got mixed feelings about his comeback and reinvention, for one hand it feels so good and refreshing having the guy back in his chair and his… new white wall, but in the middle of 2013 (of maybe a little bit before) It started to change, it became more evident that he was doing all these new things for money rather than personal satisfaction, he was sacrificing his trademarked style in favor of zany antincs and lame pop culture references made to attract the attention of a 13 year old brat.

His other show Demo Reel Failed, but Doug doen’t want to assume that and instead, he is insisting in sacrificing his dignity and create reviews with sketches that are more pointless and awkward every time.  It’s really sad actually.

If you still got respect for your old fanbase, you know, the ones who made you famous in the first place, you should consider taking this job more seriously and try to keep quality over quantity. I mean, your Son of the Mask review could it been awesome if it weren’t for those god awful sketches with satan and his daughter that… I don’t even want to talk about that, it is THAT stupid.

And all this coming to age experience that I’m having now made me realize that maybe Doug wasn’t that great to begin with. Sure it got his funny moments, memorable jokes and overall proyects that make them unique (at least compared to other reviewers), but he never evolved, he never tried to improve his routine and try to prove in a more mainstram media like TV, Films or whatever, it seems like a wasted opportunity and the only one that is responsible is Doug himself.

But you know what? I don’t hate him, I mean, despite I hate some of his new Reviews (like Disney Afternoon) I still got good memories with this guy, all the happiness and joy that brought to my life was enough to keep me away to killing myself and I’m always going to thank that to this guy.

But, I still think that you sold your soul to the Devil in the moment that you started to appeal to a younger crowd instead of evolve to a full comedian and internet reviewer, but your story gave me an important lesson that I never going to forget: No matter the circumstances, I will never going to sell my integrity like you do, and with that said, I salute you Nostalgia Critic thaks for the good times and I’ll always remember it even if you don’t have to.

Deconstructing Anime: To Love Ru

You Know, I’m going to admit it: I can’t stand Japanese animation for the most part. I don’t know, it’s just not my thing okay? Because every time I’m trying to sit through some anime, most of the time I need to pause it because the characters do something too stupid and embarrassing to even look at it.

And don’t get me wrong, I know that there are a lot of exceptions to this genre. People like Hayao Miyasaki proved that Japanese animation can be unique, creative and visually outstanding, but that is a very exceptional case, because for every decent piece of art that is created in the land of the rising sun, other creations tend to reuse from character designs, personalities, plotlines and jokes and that makes you wonder how many time you can watch the same thing over and over before you get sick of it.

But I digress, what I’m talking about is a very specific genre, the kind of anime that even the most hardcore fans of Japanese culture tend to consider terrible, I’m referring to Ecchi Harem Anime, the most… I don’t even know how to describe it because it’s so odd in the way it creates itself that you can’t really tell the difference between what’s right or wrong or what the creators want.

And because I don’t want to sound trashy but rather a nitpicking asshole, I’m going to deconstruct an Anime that, in my opinion, sums it up everything that is right and wrong about this. I'm talking of course about: To Love Ru (or trouble if you translate it)

I know there's something wrong with this picture, but I can't find out what it is... oh, I see, two of the girls are looking the other way round instead of focus on the main character... oh, silly me.

Now, I’m going to try to be the least negative and destructive as possible and I’m just going to point out my theories about why this genre is so successful between people despite the bad reputation.

The story focuses on a 16 year old boy named Yuuki Rito, an average kid who is in love with a girl from his school named Haruna Sairenji, a very shy and reserved person who apparently corresponds his feelings as well, but because both of them are so timid and socially awkward, they never got the chance to express their mutual love. To this point, sounds like a really standard love story with an overall cuteness and stuff. I, personally don’t feel especially attracted by it, but at least I can understand the appeal.

But, the things get weirder and weirder when an alien princess called Lala Satalin Deviluke escapes from her planet to earth and magically teleport herself to the bathroom of Yuuki (totally naked), just when he was taking a bathroom and coincidentally raised his arms to touch her breasts. Yes, that is what happened, and trust me, that thing is not the weirdest part.

The things get even more complicated when we discover that touching her breasts was the alien equivalent of asking for her hand, that’s right, Yuuki became the fiancée of Lala for touching her knockers by accident, talking about plot conveniences.

And while the story goes on we met other characters like: Yuuki’s sister who has some feelings for him (awkwaaaaard), the space assassin girl who has no emotions and got the mission to kill the main character, the control freak girl who sees Rito as a pervert for some misunderstandings, the alien who can change his/her gender by sneezing, Lala’s twin sisters and the medic, Rito’s best friend who is jealous for his luck with women and the perverted director of the school who, from some reason hasn’t been arrested for sexual harassment yet.

From all the jokes in this show, the most overused is the one when the main character accidentally (yes, accidentally) do something perverted to one of the girls (touch her breasts, land on her panties or whatever) and eventually got beated the crap out of him, which isn’t really funny but rather mean spirited and repetitive.

Another running gag is that Rito’s best friend of any other male character points out how lucky he is for having so many women in love with him, who is understandable but these guys act like there’s nothing more important to talk about. It’s kinda sad.

And that’s just a few summaries of characters that live in this surreal world when a 16 year old alien girl (Lala) is a professional engineer and inventor of many things that are mostly plot devices, creepy old man can stalk all the girls that they want it without learning any lesson and falling for the same over and over, and where an average kid with no talents or personality can have a lot of beautiful girls with colorful hairs and big boobies by himself.

Okay, sorry for that part, but it’s just so mind blowing the fact that an idea this… weird can be so successful. How this formula exactly works? It is because it’s animation? Well, to be fair it’s a very cute, colorful and bright piece of work who is very pleasant from a visual standpoint, but there’s a lot of other shows that has this characteristic and aren’t that commercial. It is because how sexualized everything is? Not really, a lot of other things can satisfy this need for tits.

Well, I think that, aside from how cute it looks and sounds or how formulaic the plot is to the point you know what’s going to happen from the very beginning, shows like these has a much more simple task to accomplish in order to be a hit. And surprisingly it’s not the fan-service (term to refer the sexualization of the characters), I mean, is one of the most important qualities of these kind of shows, but not THE most important.

What I’m talking about is the need of self importance in the viewer of the show. How? Well, think about it, why the main character is so one dimensional and their way of react to the situations around him is so repressed? Well, I think that the main reason for this is because the main character is just a cardboard cutout for the viewer. With most successful shows, fans usually tend to create a cult around a character, quoting his lines, creating fanart about him, but heres the thing: those characters are not a mirror for the viewership.

I mean, sure there are a lot of people who literally fall in love with Breaking Bad mostly because Walter White with his badass skills and overall personality, but I don’t think those people want to get cancer, work in a lackluster job, being persecuted by the DEA or being married with Skyler (God forbids you), they admire the way he deals with this stuff but they don’t want to put themselves in those situations.

Mmmm... let's see... being a guy in his forties suffering a midlife crisis and dying of lung cancer... or a 16 year old boy totally healty with a lot of girls who love him and want to make his dirtiest fantasies come true... let's get it on Heisenberg...

Here, is the exact opposite, the more forgettable the main character is, the easier is for the viewer to picture himself in that very fortunate and enviable position. You don’t want to be LIKE Rito, you want to be Rito.

And the fact that everybody else in this world exist with the one single purpose of point out the advantage of the main character just reinforce this idea of power. The feeling of have this fantasy all for you and everybody want to have what you have. Even the Director of the school has an important role of remind you how desirable the situation is. When you see somebody wishing for something with so much passion, then you wanted as well and that’s why you look for an interchangeable character to accomplish the dream.

And the girls, of course have different personalities to accomplish every fetish as possible, so the viewership can increase. Some people would prefer the shy girls, some others the angry ones, some others the playful ones or the emotionless ones, the clumsy ones the overly obsessed ones and so forth.

So, this is Harem Anime in a nutshell... any questions?

So, it is bad to let fooling yourself by this formula? No, you can watch and follw whatever you want, but it’s important to remember being aware of the silliness and always remember not take these shows too seriously. So personally, I pass… anime is not my thing and I don’t want to talk about it because I don’t understand it too well, I’m just trying to theorize here.

So good night my snipper-snapper fellows, I hope these rant doesn’t offend you and be open-minded like I tried to be when I wrote this. Take care.

To the Loving memory of Robin Williams.

Smoke gets in your eyes… sometimes ten times harder than the PSA propaganda

You know kids, you shouldn’t smoke. It gets you cancer and it’s not a thing that is going to make you instantaneously cool or some crap like that. So do yourselves a favor and stay away from tobacco, and I’ll guarantee to you that you’re going to have a long, healthy and prosperous life.

 Okay, now with that said: Why you people feel the necessity of demonize smokers and second hand smoke? It’s redundant to remind the dangers of smoking at this point.

And this mascot was supossed to appeal to the younger audiences, just let that sink in 

I mean, this aren’t the 60´s, people know that smoking it’s one of the most common way to die considering the addictive factor and the social conventions that people have around the whole habit. It’s not like smokers or tobacco companies try to convince you that smoke cigarettes is a good idea (and it’s not), but you can’t blame them for becoming rich at the expense of the health of people who just want to relax and have a good time with his death roll.

 Okay, think about a low-class man, who works 24/7 and want to relax after a hard day of work, what does he do? Light a cigarette and let the nicotine (a stimulating drug that is also used as insecticide), produce a chemical called acetylcholine that gets into the brain cells that controls muscular movement, the respiratory process and the heart beating, creating a state of “relaxation” in the body.

So this hard-working man can feel his body rested, so he can be prepared for another day of work, even though he can get cancer if he starts to smoke too many cigarettes and continue with this habit for a long period of time. So, it’s probable for this poor guy to die in their 60’s because he can’t quit this habit and can’t afford to pay a cancer treatment depending how much does that cost.

What’s the point here? That if you try to found a way to escape from your reality you better found one that doesn’t destroy your body as well, but if you’re going to do it anyway take responsibility of your acts and don’t blame a bunch of tobacco rolls for your lung cancer.

The thing is that even if you try to use an alternative way to relaxation like the Electronic Cigarettes (who can also contain a few toxins and therefore be just as dangerous), you can’t hide the fact that your body needs a form of addiction to feel fine.

Considering the way that anti-Tobacco campaigns try to fight against the influence of smoking in our society, I can’t avoid to notice that we always try to find a scapegoat to the things that are wrong with us as citizens, but Tobacco companies, even if they’re a bunch of corporate pigs, they became rich and powerful through entrepreneurship, they never fool the people because the dangerous of smoking was discovered in 1966 by Richard Doll, before that, cigarette were pretty much like candy for adults.

And let me tell you something, I’m not a smoker, I’ve never smoke a cigar in my life, but there has been several occasions were I’ve been exposed to second hand smoke in closed places, and I’m still just as healthy as always, so I’m very skeptical about the “dangers” of second hand smoke, I mean it can be annoying, but not extremely dangerous like smoke 500 cigarettes per day, that is just silly. So, if you’re going to put your life at risk, try to be careful when you’re blowing smoke so you can stay near to your non-smoker pals.

And that’s the other thing about these kinds of addictions; you can also affect the people around you. For example, my parents used to be smokers when I was a little kid, but they quit because they don’t want to risk my health, I’m very thankful to them for that but they also though me to treat with respect the decisions that people take about their own body.

So remember kids, if you want to ruin your lungs just to be “cool” then you’re going to ending up dying in our forties and going to make your beloved ones very sad because of your selfishness, if you’re a hard-working man that use the cigarettes to make you stressful day a little bit more tolerable, just remember to quit while you still have time, and if you’re one of those guys who still blame and demonize tobacco companies for the death of thousand people per year, you need to do your proper research and stop blowing smoke buddy. Good night everybody.

The perks of being Jewish: you’re being associated with business savvy, you’re being able to make fun of yourself, and you belong to the chosen people.

You know, I’m not a Jew but I’m not an anti-Semitic idiot like most trolls on the internet either. I don’t think the situation between the three most prominent religions in the world its okay. But I am just wondering: what’s the big deal with Jews? Jesus, some people take this issue with these people way too far.

I mean, when people talk about Jews it’s always the same two sides, it’s Jews are the scum of the Earth, or it’s Jews are the chosen people and therefore the need to be protected by the holiness of the always beloved political correctness, where the hell it’s the middle ground to this?

It is because it’s one of the first (if not THE first) monotheist religion that came up? It is because they talk about of being the chosen people? It is because they killed Jesus Christ even though a lot of people got killed that way during that time period?

Wow, even kids movies aren't saved from the Jewish Stereotyping

All the reasons to hate Jews are so confusing and contradictory that people seems to hate just for the sake of hating someone. And I’m not against rip on people for comedic effect and stuff, but some people take the “hate the chosen people” way too seriously. Jews aren’t greedy, evil, of manipulate, Jews are just people with delusions of grandeur, just like every religion in this planet.

If you research a little bit of Jewish history, the reason of why they didn’t accept J.C as their lord and savior it’s because: a) he did not fulfilled the prophecies in the bible, b) the Christian theology contradicts some of the estates in the Torah, and c) the revelation of a prophet is based in national pride, that it means that the TRUE messiah of the chosen people will be a pure-blood Jew who will raise in the holy land of Israel.

Yes, maybe Jesus could turn water into wine, walk above water and multiply bread and fishes, but he did not built the third temple of Jerusalem, he did not reunite the people on Israel and because he talked about the idea of God divided in three entities (the father, the son and the holy spirit), his story contradicts the vision of an incorporeal divinity that God represents.

And people then say thae Jews are the bad guys, Jesus Christ give me a break

The messiah, according to Judaism will became from human parents, not a Virgin impregnated by God himself, yes, the Jewish beliefs are very elitist and self-centered, but they also have a more optimistic vision about material world, they doesn’t talk about the material world as something that is need to be avoided like the Muslims and Christians.

They use their human intelligence and cleverness to rise in every place that they installed, the only reason that people say they’re greedy it’s because they know how to approach the things that God gave to them in earth instead of… you know, talk about damnation, sin and redemption of our souls through prays and confessions. Jews has their own morals, but that doesn’t mean they think of suffer and pain all the time. They’re not greedy, just self centered and intelligent.

And in top of that, they don’t talk about a relation with God through intermediaries, and Jesus, being the “son of God” it’s blasphemy to them. And again, they take the blood heritage thing very seriously, because according to their religion, the prophet descends directly from the David King bloodline, from the father side. And at last but not least, the whole reason Christians establish that Jesus is the chosen one is for some misinterpretations in the Old Testament,  in Hebrew the words “soul” and “virgin” are very similar, so when Christianity talks about a virgin that gave birth, Judaism refers to a soul gave birth.

Judaism doesn’t talk about miracles, it talks about revelations, and they think that Israel is the place where the savior is going to rise, so even if you’re Christian, you need to understand why Jews doesn’t believe in Jesus Christ, not hating them because they don’t have your same viewpoints.

And the other thing that I don’t get about this debate is when people talk about Jews as a race. Apparently some folk’s years ago labeled Jewish people as a race with common characteristics instead of beliefs. And that’s just strange, considering that Semitism is referred to people who talk Semitic languages, and that include Muslims as well.

Even if the assume that Jews are a race, they need to consider this: The messiah of the Christianity is, in fact, a Jew. So that does it mean that without Judaism, there’s no Christ, and also that implies that, ethnically, all Christians are Jews, but wait, Christians are not labeled as a race like the Jews, they’re just a religion, so this whole race thing it’s just as contradictory and nonsensical as most of the stuff written in the Bible.

Is there evil Jewish people? Of course, the same way they’re evil Muslims, evil Christians, evil atheists and overall evilness in every group of people that want to control their peers with intolerance and bigotry. The mankind is evil, the things that we say against groups of other people it’s just a way to create scapegoats to feel better about ourselves.

The Truth is, that no matter how hard we try, there’s always a chance to became greedy power-hungry monsters like the Zionists that, by the way, are not evil because they’re Jewish, they’re evil because they’re human beings with power and a big friend called “political correctness” who can help them to hide from legitimate criticism through the old “blame the Jews” excuse.

They came, they're bad and they will own Jew kid...

So, the next time someone tell you that Jews are evil (the news, your racist friends or whatever) just remember: every person has a Jew inside their souls. If Jews are greedy, manipulative, war instigators and self-center elitist douche bags, so that means that the whole mankind is Jewish. So, with that said, it’s better to start to hate ourselves as human beings as well. Good luck you rats.

I hope Jew don’t mind the puns but, I’ve got to Goy, I been shtick around the computer for way too long and if I don’t oy vey my doctor about schlep a little bit, I’m going to kittel myself one of these days, so shalom guys, what yutzi is what jew got.

City of God Review: Yes, that’s going to be the topic today… Any questions?

Well, the English class is over and I’m enjoying my short vacations doing what I like to do the most. And that’s watching movies and TV shows. For example, I’m watching a show called “Mad Men” created by Matthew Weiner, one of the writers from The Sopranos, but I’m going to talk about that in other post.

But, this is hard for me to do it, because a reviewer needs to keep subjective when it comes to analyze something and the movie that I’m going to do it happens to be one of my favorite films of all time. I’m talking of course of Fernando Meirelles crime drama masterpiece “Cidade de Deus” City of god for those who don’t talk Portuguese.

You came to the wrong neighbourhood Motherf*cker

And just in case you don’t know, I don’t care, and I’m going to write this in capitals so you can understand it I DON’T CARE about the world cup, so this particular choice has absolute nothing to do with the demise of Brazil during the Match with Germany (although it was kinda funny watching them lose the game in their own country)

But, enough with the pointless talking and let’s starting with the reviewing (Spoiler Alert):

We opened the movie watching a chicken escaping in a favela, where a group of gangsters chase it around the streets. The animal stops in front of a young photographer called Buscapé (Rocket) who is the main character and narrator. Buscapé thinks that the Gang wants to kill him and suddenly we cut to a flashback to explain the whole story. And that’s where the movie begins.

We learn that Buscapé was raised in a very poor town in the sixties and his brother Marreco (Goose), was part of a little gang called “the tender trio” along with his friends Cabeleira (Shaggy) and Alicate (Clipped) who stole money from people from the outside and split it with thwe citizens. Kind of like Robin Hood, so they were respected for that.

But one day, Dadihno (Lil Dice), a boy who idolized the Trio suggested them to assault a Motel in order to abandon their thieves’ lives and escape to something better. Dadihno however, was a very violent and ambitious kid who wanted to grow up to become a gangster and he suggested them to do it because he wanted to be initiated into that life. The Trio, of course do not let him to do that and assign him as lookout.

But during the assault, someone broke a glass in the motel and activated the alarm; the Trio, who wanted to take the money without killing anyone, escaped very quickly and didn’t earned enough money to escape from their life crime. The three gangsters split up and tried to redeem themselves after that day.

Cabeleira fell in love with a woman and later decided to work in order to change his life, Marreco started to work selling fishes with his father warning his brother to not choose the life of crime and keep studying, and Alicate joined the church. But an incident related with a man killing his wife because she had an affair with Buscape´s brother brought attention t the police, resulting in the death of Cabeleira during an escape.

Later, in the seventies we follow the misadventures of Buscapé tring to lose the virginity with a girl named Angelica, who was part of a group of Hippies from the Favela who smoke marihuana and went to parties and stuff. Buscapé, who developed a passion for photography was the official photographer and the one responsible of getting the weed.

But one day he went to the apartment where his official Pot Dealer Neguinho (Blackie) was taking by surprise by Dadihno, who change his name to Ze Pequeno (Lil Ze) and discovered through a flashback story that he was the one who broke the glass from the motel and later he killed everyone in there. Later he killed Buscape’s brother when he tried to take the money he stole. And after that he started his new life as a gangster along with his best friend Bené (Benny), who was the older brother of Cabeleira.

Benny, who was the Jiminy Cricket of Ze, prevented him to start a feud with a gangster called Cenoura (carrot) who was Bene’s friend and the only gangster leader who was not killed by Ze during his rise to power.

Then, everything went surprisingly peaceful in the Favela. Angelica became Bene’s boyfriend; Ze stopped some group of kids called “The runts” from robbing and vandalizing the favela without his authority; Buscapé went through a series of unfortunate events until he got a job in the newspaper; Neguinho was expelled from the apartment; and Bené decided to leave the life of crime where he was shot by Neguinho who wanted to killed Ze and not him.

Ze, without Bene being the voice of reason, became crazier and started a war against Cenoura. But first, he took a personal revenge and raped a girl who reject him during the farewell party of Bene and humiliated his boyfriend Mané Galinha (Knockout Ned). And not only that, he decided to murder the guy in his house and killed his brother and Uncle instead. So Mané, who was a pacifist decided to join Cenoura’s gang in order to take revenge against Lil Ze.

And After a lot of assaults, people joining one side or another for revenge and murder after murder after murder, the mob war has begun. Buscapé who just wanted to survive in that crzy world became the official photographer of Lil Ze and his gang when he took a picture of them with their guns and accidentally gave the photos to the press and spread the word about Ze’s mob family (although that was the thing Ze wanted, but Buscapé wasn’t aware).

And finally we get to the beginning of the film when Buscapé was found by Ze’s gang and just in that moment, the police and Cenoura’s gang appeared and started their last battle. Resulting in Mané getting killed by a kid who searched for revenge against him because he killed his father in one of the assaults, Ze and Cenoura got arrested but Ze was released by the corrupt cops and that moment was captured by Buscape. And finally, The Runts killed Ze in the same alley and took his place as the mob leaders of the Favela completing the cycle of violence and ending the film on a high note.

Wow, that was a lot of Writing don’t you think? I mean, this a very complex movie in terms of writing and argument so ther’e a lot of things that I couldn’t leave out, but I hope you don’t mind.

So, what’s my opinion about the film? Well… that it’s freaking awesome. The music, the story, the writing, the acting, the pacing and the fact that every actor in this film came from the favelas in real life make this movie one of the most gruesome and realistic crime flicks of all time.

But if I had to choose some nitpick, I’d say that the main character it’s not that interesting. Don’t get me wrong, the guy is very likeable. But it’s very evident that he’s just there to be the vehicle of the story via narration instead of one character with a much bigger role. But, to be fair, a movie with the incredible amount of subplots and story arcs like this it’s very hard to get through that.

And it’s very interesting the influence of Tarantino films in this movie. You can notice that not only in the narrative, but also in the style and the aestheticization of violence presented during the most violent secuences.

The good thing about this it’s that gave us the benefit of the doubt about the gangster’s life. Instead of trying to convince us about something, it showed us why this happens and showed us that through the point of view of three-dimensional characters. I mean even Lil Ze, who is depicted as a sociopath with no redeemable qualities, has his own reasons to do what he think is right. He just want to be respected, he wanted to be more powerful, but that life corrupted him to the point of insanity and ended the same way it started: with a grown up gangster being shot by a kid.

So if don’t watched: what the hell are you doing reading this? Go and watch it right now. It’s one of those flicks you must see before you die. Sure that I did it and I’m going to watch it over and over before leaving this world.

And that was my post from today. Take care and study to become an important person in the future. Unless you want to be a movie star like the people who participated in this film. So… don’t listen to me and choose books over crooks. Bye.